The driver sped up, but the old man’s face stayed in the window. The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, “What do you want?” The old man softly replied, “You got any tobacco?” The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, “Step on it,” to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.
A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again. The driver said, “I don’t know what happened, but don’t worry we’re doing 80 now.”
All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared. “There he is again,” the passenger yelled. He rolled down the window and shakily said, “Yes?” “Do you have a light?” the old man quietly asked. The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, “Step on it!”
They were flooring it and going about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping.
“Oh my God! He’s back!” The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, “WHAT NOW?” The old man gently replied,
“You want some help getting out of the mud?”
A man is in an insane asylum and is assessed by a doctor for release.
All the staff says he’s totally fine to be returned to normal life, and this is his final check.
The doctor asks him a simple question: “What would happen if I cut off your left ear?”
The patient responds, “Well sir, I suppose my hearing would be much worse.”
The doctor seems please, checks a box, and asks: “and if I were to cut off both your ears?”
The patient replies, “well sir, then my vison would be totally gone!”
The doctor shakes his head sadly and orders the patient be returned to his ward, to be reassessed in a year’s time.
The next year the same thing occurs.
“If I cut off right ear, what would happen?” “My hearing would get worse.” “And if I cut off the left?” “Then my vison would be totally gone!” “Back to the ward with you…”
Year after year, the doctor and the man met, and year after year the same questions and the same answers, until one day, the doctor, overcome with curiosity, asks the man:
“Why? Why are you like this? You know why we are here, you know that if you just tell me what I want to hear you’ll be free to go, so why do you insist that your ears have anything to do with your vision??”
“Very simple,” the man replies. “If you c*t off both my ears, my hat would fall down and cover my eyes!”
