“Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”
An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said, “Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”
Martha replied, “Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.
Henry was obviously hurt by his wife’s confession, but said, “I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ‘good reasons’?”
Martha said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage.
Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”
Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?”
Martha asked, “And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge.”
“I recall that,” said Henry. “And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”
“Alright,” Martha said. “So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?”
THE ELDERLY MAN FAINTED 😂
So this guy walks into a church and heads straight for the confession booth.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”
The priest says, “Alright, my son, what did you do?”
The guy goes, “Well… about a month ago, I stayed late at the library. When I went to leave, it started pouring like CRAZY. The librarian and I got stuck there all night and, uh… let’s just say we made the most of the storm.
The priest raises an eyebrow but says, “That’s not great, but if it was a one-time thing, God can forgive that.”
The guy takes a deep breath and says, “Yeah, but… about a week ago, I helped my neighbor fix her window shutters. Same deal—huge downpour outta nowhere. Couldn’t leave. One thing led to another… and well, it was another stormy situation, if you know what I mean.”
At this point, the priest just sits there in total silence.
The guy starts sobbing, “Father, what do I do now?!”
The priest jumps up and shouts, “You need to get outta here, my son—before it starts raining again!!”
