3 nuns are talking
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.”
intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. ” i found a phone in the priests room.”
said the first nun.
“oh thats nothing said the second one, i found c*ndoms in one of his drawers.”
said the second one.
” what did u do with them.”
said the first nun.
pridefully the second nun responds with,” i poked holes in all of them.”
and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”
A train machinist, a ship captain and a truck driver are sitting in a bar
A train machinist, a ship captain and a truck driver are sitting in a bar and sharing their stories.
The ship captain: “Our house is close to the harbor, so every time I am back from sailing and my ship is passing our house, I give the honk, so every time I am home, the food is on the table, my wife is hot and ready and I get my special welcome home treatment.”
The train machinist: “ Same here – we live close to the railroad, so when coming back from a long trip, I signal when passing by our house, and when I come home, my wife greets me in l*ng*rie, with dinner on the table and bed warmed and ready for us”
The truck driver: “ Yaeh.. almost same here… Our house is downhill in the street, so, whenever I come back home, I shut off the engine on the hill, roll down to the house, take my wrench, ring on the front door an run to the back door – none of them has escaped yet”
Once a drunk husband arrived late at his home, He rang the bell..
Wife : where have you been till this late, I am not going to open the door. Sleep outside on the road tonight.
There was a well beside their house.
Husband : I’ll Jump into well If you don’t open the door.
Wife : Do whatever you have to do, I won’t open the door tonight.
Husband picks a big stone and threw it into the well, wife opens the door and ran towards the well.
Husband enters the house and locked it from inside.
Wife : Open the door, otherwise I’ll shout and people will gather here.
Husband : Let them gather, I’ll ask you in front of them that from where are you coming this late and that too in night wear.
A married couple at a Zoo walk past a gorilla enclosure.
Says the woman: ‘Mark, Do you know that gorillas are the only animals which resemble men in their behavior?
Look, seeing that no one is looking, I’ll expose one of my br*a*ts it & see how h*rn* it gets just as men do.’
Mary then exposes one of her br*a*ts, and, sure enough the gorilla gets *xc*ted and grabs the bars of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free.
‘See,’ says the woman, ‘Now, I know why you react the way you do; men can’t control their animal *nst*ncts just like gorillas can’t.’
Says Mark: ‘Now exp*se both br*a*ts and let us see what happens.’
The woman exp*ses both br*a*ts to the gorilla and it gets very *xc*ted and is now d*sp*rately trying to escape from the enclosure.
Says Mark: ‘This is incredible, now, p*ll your sk*rt up, turn around and exp*se your b*m and let us see what happens!’
The woman p*lls her sk*rt up, turns around with her b*m to the gorilla, which by now ,was *xtr*mely ar*used, breaks free from the enclosure, grabs the woman and starts y*nk*ng the cl*thes off her.
The woman yells: ‘Mark , what do I do now? Please, help me!’
Mark replies: ‘Now, tell him you have a headache and you’re not in m**d … Let us see if Gorillas and Men are the same.
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