The Cop Was Shocked
A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open.
A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, “Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman’s right bre@st is hanging out.”
As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out.
When he gets face to face with her he says, “Ma’am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?”
She says, “Why, officer?”
“Well, your breast is hanging out.”
She looks down and says “OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!”
The Nun Suddenly Regretted Asking One More Question…
A farmer was out checking his fields one afternoon when he spotted a nun walking slowly along the dusty road toward town.
“Afternoon, Sister,” he called. “Where are you headed in this heat?”
The nun smiled politely.
“Our convent pantry is nearly empty. I’m going into town to see whether anyone might donate some food.”
“Well now,” said the farmer, tipping his hat, “there’s no need for that long walk. I’d be happy to help.”
The nun thanked him warmly.
“Only problem is,” the farmer continued, “the only thing ready to harvest right now is cucumbers.”
“Oh, that would still be wonderful,” the nun replied gratefully. “The sisters will appreciate anything.”
The farmer nodded.
“Tell you what — come by every Monday and I’ll give you enough cucumbers so every sister can have two on the first day… and one a day for the rest of the week.”
The nun paused for a moment, slightly puzzled.
“Why two on the first day?”
The farmer blinked at her innocently.
“Well…” he said,
“one’s for eating, of course.”
A priest and a nun are caught in a blizzard.
They find a deserted cabin and take shelter.
They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets.
The priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself.
As they get tucked in for the night the nun calls out,
– “Father, Father I’m cold!”
So the priest gets up and puts another blanket on the nun.
– “Is that better Sister?” he asks.
– “Yes Father, much better,” she replies.
So he gets back in his sleeping bag and starts to nod off when she again calls out with,
– “Father I’m still cold!”
So once again the priest gets up and puts another blanket on her, ensuring she is tucked into the bed well.
– “Is that better Sister?” he asks.
– “Oh yes Father, that’s much better,” she says.
So the priest gets himself back into the sleeping bag and this time is just starting to dream when he wakes up to her call of,
– “Father, Father I’m just so cold!”
The priest thinks long about this and finally says,
– “Sister, we are in the middle of nowhere in a blizzard. No one but you, myself, and the lord himself will ever know what happens here this night. How about, just for this night, we act as though we were married?”
The nun thinks on this for a minute, she can’t help but admit to herself she’s been curious, and finally answers with a tentative,
– “OK Father, just for tonight, we will act as though we are married.”
So the Father replies,
– “Get up and get your own damned blanket ya cow!” and rolls over to fall asleep.
The post The Cop Was Shocked appeared first on 1millionstories.
