The Nun Suddenly Regretted Asking One More Question…
A farmer was out checking his fields one afternoon when he spotted a nun walking slowly along the dusty road toward town.
“Afternoon, Sister,” he called. “Where are you headed in this heat?”
The nun smiled politely.
“Our convent pantry is nearly empty. I’m going into town to see whether anyone might donate some food.”
“Well now,” said the farmer, tipping his hat, “there’s no need for that long walk. I’d be happy to help.”
The nun thanked him warmly.
“Only problem is,” the farmer continued, “the only thing ready to harvest right now is cucumbers.”
“Oh, that would still be wonderful,” the nun replied gratefully. “The sisters will appreciate anything.”
The farmer nodded.
“Tell you what — come by every Monday and I’ll give you enough cucumbers so every sister can have two on the first day… and one a day for the rest of the week.”
The nun paused for a moment, slightly puzzled.
“Why two on the first day?”
The farmer blinked at her innocently.
“Well…” he said,
“one’s for eating, of course.”
FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN WOMEN
A woman didn’t come home one night.
the next day she told her husband that
she had slept over at a friend’s house.
the man called his wife’s 10 best friends.
none of them knew about it.
FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN MEN:
A man didn’t come home one night.
the next day he told his wife that he had
slept over at a friend’s house.
the woman called her husband’s 10 best friends.
eight of them confirmed that he had slept over,
and the 2 claimed that he was still there.
An elderly man in town had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he Came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women sk*nny-d*pp*ng in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’
The old man frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim n*k*d or make you get out of the p*nd n*k*d..
Holding the bucket up, he said, ‘I’m here to feed the alligator.
3 men are sentenced to d*ath.
All of them are scheduled to be executed on the same day.
The first man walks in the room and is told he has a choice, h*nging or the electric chair.
The man thinks for a bit and then decides that the chair is probably less p*inful and quicker, so the guards strap him down in the chair.
The man says his final words, ready to d*e and the chair is turned on and… nothing happens. There’s just a few sparks coming out of the fuse box but the man is still alive.
Seeing that this is a sign of God the man is pardoned from all his cr*mes and released from prison.
On his way out he walks past the second man and quickly whispers to him “Hey! The electric chair is broken!“
The second man enters the execution chamber and is given the same choice, h*nging or the chair. He obviously choses the chair and, just as it happened before, the chair doesn’t work again.
Being a sign from God again the second man gets a pardon as well and is released from prison.
On his way out the he sees the third man and whispers to him “Hey! The chair is broken!“
The third man enters the execution chamber and is given the same choice as the other, h*nging or the chair.
The man is asked what he choses and after a quick look at the chair he says: “ Well, h*nging of course since that f*ck*ng chair is br*ken!“
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