The owner was delighted to help and started packing the potatoes. However, the woman stopped him and requested that each potato be wrapped individually. The man complied and asked if there was anything else he could help with.
The woman then requested four kilograms of onions to be wrapped similarly. The shop owner packed the onions and asked if there was anything else.
The woman requested seven kilograms of carrots.
“Let me guess,” said the owner with a sour face, “you want them wrapped individually.”
“Oh, that would be grand,” she said.
The shop owner fulfilled her request and packed all her items in a bag.
The woman then asked: “What are in those crates behind you?”
The man flushed red and said, “Madam, these are grapes and they are not for sale!”
a high street when the wife spotted a beautiful diamond necklace in a jewelry store window.
She urges her husband to go inside so that she can take a look at it. Although she wants it, he simply doesn’t have to buy it for her, but he promises that it’ll be hers one day.
A month passes, and the wife is at home wondering where on earth her husband is.
She angrily calls his cell phone. “Where the hell are you?” she asks.
“Darling, you remember that jewelry store where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it, and I didn’t have money that time, and I said ‘Baby it’ll be yours one day’?”
“Yeah, I remember that my love!” she replies, smiling and blushing profusely as she does.
“I’m in the bar just next to that.”
One evening, after the honeymoon, Bob was working on his Harley motorcycle in the garage.
His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally said, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we’re married, maybe it’s time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage.
You probably should consider selling your Harley and all that welding equipment; they take up so much of your time.
And that g*n collection and fishing gear, they just take up so much space. And you know the boat is such an ongoing expense; and you hardly use it.
I also think you should lose all those stupid model airplanes and your home brewing equipment…
“And what’s the use of that vintage hot rod sports car”
Bob got a horrified look on his face.
She noticed and said,
“Darling, what’s wrong?”
He replied, “You were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!?” she shouted,
“YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”
Bob replied, “I HAVEN’T BEEN
