A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said. ‘Pretend you’re a statue.’
‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room
‘Oh, it’s a statue,’ she replied.
‘The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
‘Here, have this’ he gives the sandwich and beer to the statue.
Then he said to the statue: ‘I stood like that for two days at the Smiths’ house and nobody offered me anything!!’
If you enjoyed this story, you should check out this one too, which I came across on another site a while ago.
Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Toronto on the train.
A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas that they’d never seen before.
Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel.
When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across at her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
…
..
.
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”
A man was Promoted to Montreal
Boss: Congratulations! I’m promoting you to manage our Montreal office!
The young man (disappointed): But sir! There’s nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.
Boss (now insulted): I’ll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!
…
..
.
The young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on?
An old man from Alabama moved to New York and decided to look for work.
He walked into a massive department store and asked for a job.
The manager, intrigued, asked, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The man nodded confidently, “Yes, sir. I was a salesman back home in Alabama.”
The manager liked his enthusiasm and hired him. “You start tomorrow. I’ll check in after we close to see how you did.”
The first day was tough, but the old man persevered.
At the end of the day, the manager came to check on him. “So, how many customers did you sell to?”
The man smiled and said, “Just one.”
The manager was furious. “One?! Our salespeople average 20 to 30 customers a day! How much was the sale for?”
The old man replied, “$121,237.65.”
The manager’s jaw dropped. “What on earth did you sell?!”
The old man explained, “Well, first, I sold him a small fishhook.
Then a medium fishhook. Then a larger one. After that, I sold him a fishing rod.
He mentioned going fishing on the coast, so I took him to the boat section, and he bought a twin-engine Boston Whaler. Then he realized his Honda Civic couldn’t tow it, so I sold him a truck.”
The manager, still in shock, asked, “A man came in for a fishhook, and you sold him a boat and a truck?!”
The old man grinned. “No, sir. He actually came in to buy t.a.m.p.o.n.s for his wife. I just said, ‘Your weekend’s shot—you might as well go fishing.’”
The next day, the old man got a promotion.
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
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