A Texan was having a drink in an Arizona bar
A Texan was having a drink in an Arizona bar when his phone rang.
He listened for a moment, grinned ear to ear, and shouted,
“Drinks for everyone! I just became a dad!”
The bartender started pouring as the crowd gathered to hear the story.
“My wife just gave birth to a big, healthy Texas boy — twenty-five pounds!” the Texan said proudly.
The bar went silent. People gasped, jaws dropped, and someone even whispered, “That can’t be real!”
The Texan smiled. “That’s just how we grow ‘em in Texas!”
Two weeks later, he came back to the same bar.
The bartender greeted him, “Hey! You’re the fella with the 25-pound baby! So how’s he doing now?”
The Texan took a sip of his drink, leaned forward, and said with a smirk,
“He’s down to 17 pounds.”
The bartender blinked. “Down? What happened?”
The Texan grinned. “Let’s just say… he had a little operation.”
An army officer was sharing a tender moment with his wife in the kitchen right before leaving for another long deployment.
“Sweetheart, I’m going to be away for a whole year,” he sighed.
Her eyes filled with tears. “Oh, I’ll miss you terribly!”
With a playful glimmer in his eye, the officer looked down at her chest and added, “I’ll miss you too—and these lovely ladies of yours.”
Blushing, his wife teased, “Well, maybe you should give them some extra attention now to make up for the coming year.”
His face brightened. “Absolutely! I promise to squeeze a little extra love into every single month I’m gone.”
