A priest is taking a cab home from church
A priest is taking a cab home from church after a long day of services. It’s night and it’s raining heavily. Suddenly the taxi hits a pothole. The driver mutters under his breath “F*ck!” Seconds later, they hit another pothole and the driver says “Sh*t!” The priest has finally had enough,
“Son, don’t use these words, they anger our Good Lord. Say for instance, ‘Lord help us’”
The cabbie reluctantly agrees. As they drive on, they hit a really big pothole and the entire wheel falls off! The cabbie remembering the priest’s words says “Lord help us!” Suddenly, the wheel stops, rolls back, and snaps back on!
“The priest stared…
Blinked twice…qqqqqqq
Then…
“What the f*ck?”.
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Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the old woman if she would like a ride:
After a bit of small talk, while resuming the journey,
The old woman noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
“What’s in the bag?” Asked the woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said.
“It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.”
The old woman was silent for a moment then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder said……
“Good trade.”
God was putting the finishing touches on creation and had just two leftover traits.
He decided to let Adam and Eve choose who got what.
“The first trait,” God announced, “is the ability to pee standing up.”
Before God could even finish, Adam started jumping up and down like an excited schoolboy. “Oh, please give that to me! It’s perfect for a man! Please, please, please!”
Eve smiled graciously and shrugged. “If he wants it that badly, let him have it.”
So, God granted Adam his wish. Adam immediately went wild with excitement—whizzing against a rock, writing his name in the sand, and shouting, “Look, Eve, I’m a lawn sprinkler!”
God and Eve watched his chaotic victory lap in amused silence. Finally, God turned to Eve and sighed, “Well, I guess that leaves you with the very last trait.”
“What’s that?” Eve asked.
God smiled and replied:
“Brains.”
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