In a moment of confession, a nun revealed to the priest, “Father, I have sinned. We took in a homeless man and gave him shelter, but I couldn’t help myself – I peeked at his pri.vate pa.rts through the keyhole.”
The priest offered words of comfort, “My child, do not be ashamed. Say a Hail Mary and wash your eyes in the holy water, and all will be forgiven.”
The next nun in line confessed, “Father, I too have sinned. I took it a step further and touched his private parts with my hand.”
Again, the priest offered absolution, “Say a Hail Mary and wash your hands in the holy water, and all will be forgiven.”
But then, a commotion erupted as two nuns cut in front of each other, leading to a heated hair-pulling fight.
The priest intervened, “Sisters, stop this at once! What has come over you?”
One nun pointed to the other and exclaimed, “I want to use the holy water first, before she washes her…ahem…with it!”
The priest’s face turned red as he tried to restore order, realizing that perhaps the holy water was not the only thing that needed cleansing.
A man was walking past a bar when a nun stopped him outside.
She looked disappointed and said,
“My son, alcohol is a terrible temptation. Drunkenness separates a man from the Lord.”
The man shrugged.
“Lady, I’m just going in for one beer.”
“One beer becomes two,” the nun replied. “Two becomes a habit.”
The man smiled.
“Well, how do you know drinking is so bad if you’ve never tried it?”
The nun frowned.
“I have never touched alcohol in my life.”
“Then let me buy you one,” the man said. “Just a small drink. You might be surprised.”
The nun hesitated.
“Well…” she said quietly, “perhaps one glass would do no harm. But I don’t want people talking.”
