A young man went into confession crying, and told the priest:
“Forgive me father for I have s*nn*d”.
“What have you done?” asked the priest.
“A few weeks ago I went to the library. I remained there until closing time and when I was about to go home, rain started pouring down. It was so intense I had to wait in the library. I had waited for a while with the librarian, a young attractive single girl, then one thing led to another, and I ended up sl**ping with her”. The man stopped talking but kept weeping.
“Well don’t cry, it’s a sin but it is not that bad. You should say 5 Hail Marys and it will be forgiven”. Said the priest.
“But it doesn’t end there” the man kept sobbing. “a few days later my elderly neighbor asked me to help her with her computer. Her husband was hospitalized and she couldn’t send an email to her son. I went there and fixed the problem, but when I was about to leave, rain started pouring down. It was really stormy and I had to wait. One thing led to another and I ended up sl**ping with the old lady” the man cried.
“Oh dear well that makes it harder indeed, but still – you should say 15 Hail Marys and you will be forgiven” Said the priest.
“Oh I’m afraid the w*rst part is still ahead” cried the man. “Yesterday I went to the barber. I was his last client that day. As soon as he finished and was about to close the shop rain started pouring down so intensely, I had to wait with him. One thing led to another and I ended up sl**ping with him as well” the man cried.
“Oh dear, it is indeed w*rse than I thought” said the priest.
“So what should I do father?” the man asked.
“Well” answered the priest, “you should get the f*ck out of here before it starts raining!”.
Jacob and Jessica were deeply in love and completely on track for a beautiful marriage. There was only one glaring problem: Jessica’s stunning 20-year-old sister. She had a habit of wearing impossibly tight miniskirts and making suspiciously deliberate, low-cut wardrobe malfunctions whenever Jessica left the room. Jacob tried his best to ignore it.
One afternoon, the younger sister called Jacob, asking him to swing by the house to help proofread the wedding invitations. When he arrived, the house was dead silent. She was entirely alone.
Sauntering over to him, she whispered that she had developed an overwhelming, forbidden desire for him. “Just once,” she purred. “I want to have you just once before you commit your entire life to my sister.”
Without waiting for an answer, she turned and headed up the stairs. At the top landing, she provocatively slipped off her panties, tossed them down the steps right at his feet, and vanished into her bedroom.
Jacob stood frozen in absolute shock for a few seconds. Then, turning on his heel, he bolted out the front door and marched straight down the driveway toward his sedan.
Waiting right next to his vehicle was his future father-in-law, wiping tears of pure joy from his eyes. The older man stepped forward, wrapping Jacob in a massive, emotional bear hug.
