Adam Had One Last Question for God…
God gave Adam his first great task: “Adam, you are to father a child with Eve.”
“Good,” said Adam. “But how do I find Eve?”
“You have to cross the river.”
Adam looked confused. “What is a ‘river’?”
God sighed and explained it to him.
“Then you have to climb the mountain.”
“What’s a ‘mountain’?” Adam asked again.
Another detailed explanation followed.
“You will have to go a very long way.”
“Um… ‘way’?”
God patiently continued his explanation.
“Finally, you enter the cave.”
“Cave?”
After a further explanation, Adam was ready.
“There you will find Eve. And then you will sleep with her.”
Adam hesitated. “What does ‘sleep’ mean in this context?”
God took the time.
Equipped with this new knowledge, Adam set off. He crossed the river, climbed the mountain, hiked along the long path, and entered the cave.
A few days later he returned to God, rubbed his temple in pain and asked in a dull voice:
“God… what, pray tell, is a migraine?”
A man goes to his doctor in a state of complete distress.
Man: “Doctor, I have a huge problem. My son sl-ept with a girl – and she gave him a really nasty dise@se…”
Doctor: “Then your son should come to me immediately.”
Man: “Yes, but…”, the unfortunate man continues, “my son unfortunately passed the dise@se on to the maid .”
Doctor: “Uh oh…”
Man: “And the maid then passed them on to me .”
Doctor: “Oh my goodness… Okay, let’s take a look at this.”
Man: “But that’s not all, Doctor! I knew nothing about it – and of course I passed it on to my wife …”
Then the doctor jumps up and shouts:
Doctor: “Damn it! Now we’re all infected because of this idiot ! “
Read more…
After the pilot had finished his normal in-flight announcement, he unfortunately forgot to turn off his microphone.
Over the loudspeakers throughout the plane, you can hear him saying:
“So… first I’m going to take a nice shit, and then I’m going to grab a stewardess and m@ke out with her a little.”
Dead silence in the cabin.
A flight attendant turns bright red and runs frantically towards the cockpit to tell him that the microphone is still on.
In her panic, she trips in the aisle and lands on her knees – right next to an elderly gentleman in the aisle seat.
She looks up at him, ashamed.
The old man smiles calmly and says:
“No hurry, young lady…
the pilot wanted to go and take a dump first.”
Tommy Cracks the Code
One quiet evening, a husband and wife were relaxing in the living room while their five-year-old son, Tommy, happily played with his toys.
The husband leaned over and whispered,
“How about we sneak into the kitchen and have some cookies?”
His wife quickly shook her head.
“Shhh! Don’t say the word ‘C-O-O-K-I-E’ out loud! If Tommy hears it, he’ll want some too. Spell it instead!”
The husband grinned and nodded.
“Good idea.”
A few seconds later, Tommy stopped playing, slowly turned around, and looked straight at his parents.
“Dad… Mom…”
“I know exactly what ‘C-O-O-K-I-E’ means.”
The parents exchanged nervous looks.
His mom forced a smile.
“Oh? And what does it mean, sweetheart?”
Tommy folded his arms with a confident grin.
“It means you’re about to eat chocolate chip cookies without me…”
“…and now I’m going to spell something too.”
The parents waited.
Tommy smiled even wider and proudly announced,
“B-E-D-T-I-M-E…”
“…for both of you!”
The room went silent…
Then Mom and Dad realized they weren’t the only ones who knew how to play word games.
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