An Old Lady buying Boots for a Texan
An old lady went into a bar in Dallas, Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped upon a table. He had on the biggest boots she’d ever seen. The old woman asked the man if it’s true what they say about men with big f**t being well endowed.
The man grinned and said, *“Sure is, little lady. Why don’t you come to my apartment and let me prove it to you?”*
The old woman considered she might never get an offer like this again and was curious to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, *“Well, thank you, I’m really flattered. Nobody has ever paid me for my ‘services’ before!”*
*“Don’t be flattered,” she replied, “Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”*
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A school hired a new Spanish teacher fresh out of college.
On the teacher’s first day, the principal decides to sit in her class to observe.
He sits down next to Little Johnny.
As the class progresses, the teacher writes a sentence in Spanish on the board.
Suddenly, she drops the chalk on the floor and bends down to pick it up.
When she straightens back up, she asks the class to translate the sentence she just wrote.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says,
“If the skirt was a bit shorter, I’d hit it.”
Naturally flustered, the teacher yells out,
“Johnny! That is disgusting and very rude! Get out of my class right now!”
As Little Johnny is packing his things, he hits the principal on the head with his Spanish textbook and says.
“And you Mister, if you don’t know sh!t, keep your d@mn mouth shut!”
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The Leprechaun’s Question Kept Getting Stranger…
Late one night in rural Ireland, a young nun was praying quietly in the convent chapel when—BANG!—a puff of green smoke exploded beside the altar.
When the smoke cleared, two actual leprechauns were standing there.
Tiny little fellows. Green coats. Red sideburns. Buckled shoes. The whole lot.
One of them stood proudly with his hands behind his back.
The other stared miserably at the floor like his life was over.
The confident leprechaun tipped his hat politely.
“Top o’ the mornin’, Sister. We’ve come with a question.”
