Andy’s New Career
Several years ago, Andy was sent to prison.
From the very beginning, he earned the respect of both the guards and his fellow inmates. The warden believed Andy had made a mistake in lifeābut was genuinely trying to become a better man.
To help him start over, the warden arranged for Andy to learn carpentry while serving his sentence.
Andy turned out to be a natural.
Within three years, he had become one of the finest carpenters in the area. His work was so good that he was often allowed to leave prison on weekends to build furniture or complete small projects for local families. Every Sunday evening, without fail, he returned to prison on time.
Andy became known as the model inmate.
One day, the warden decided to remodel his kitchen. He wanted new cabinets and a beautiful countertop but didn’t know anyone he trusted more than Andy.
So he called him into his office.
“Andy,” the warden said with a smile, “you’re the best carpenter around. Would you be willing to build my new kitchen cabinets and install the countertop?”
To the warden’s surprise, Andy immediately shook his head.
“I’m sorry, Warden… I’d really love to help.”
He paused for a moment.
“…but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place.”
The Husband Had a Solution
One winter morning during breakfast a husband and wife in Northern Minnesota were listening to the radio.
They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.”
So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplows can get through.”
The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they were again having breakfast, when the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park…” Then the electric power went out.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?”
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied,
“Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?
She married and had 13 children. Her husband d*ed…
She married again and had 7 more children.
Again, her husband died.
But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.
She finally died after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,’ Lord, they’re finally together.’
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend,’ Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband? ‘
The friend replied, ‘ I think he means her legs.’
The post Andy’s New Career appeared first on 1millionstories.
