Aunt Cora Took the Doctor’s Question Literally
Old Aunt Cora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her troublesome constipation.
“It’s terrible,” she said to the doctor.
“I haven’t moved my bowels in more than a week.”
“I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor.
“Oh, yes,” Aunt Cora replied,
“I sit in the bathroom for a good half of an hour in the morning and then again at night.”
“No,” the doctor said,
“I mean do you take anything?”
“Of course I do.” she answered,
“I take a magazine.”
They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I had to leave them in the car.
Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car’s ignition. He’s afraid that the car could be st0len.
As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police.
I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been st0len.
Then, I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: “I left my keys in the car and it’s been st0len.” There was a moment of silence.
I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. “Are you kidding me?” he barked, “I dropped you off!”
Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.
” He retorted, “I will; just as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t ste@l your d@mn car!”
Welcome to the GOLDEN YEARS
She Had the Perfect Comeback
Went for a walk past a farm with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs m@ting.
She said: “How does the male know when the female is ready for s*x?”
I replied: “He can smell she is ready. That’s how nature works.”
