Grandma’s Missing Dog Mystery
One day an old lady won the lottery and bought a mansion.
She would wake up every day in her mansion lonely
So one day the old lady decided to buy a dog.
The old lady was so bored she wanted to name her Mansion but she could not think of a name for her mansion,
So she said to herself before she went to sleep first thing I see in the morning I’ll name my mansion!
The old lady falls asleep n awakes in the morning and sees a hairy b*tt!
The old lady says haha then my Mansion will be named Hairy b*tt!
The old lady got really bored n started thinking of names to name her dog she couldn’t think of a good one so she said the first thing I step on I’ll name my dog.
The old lady awakes in the morning steps on a crack the old lady says hahaha I’ll name my dog crack!
A whole week goes by and her dog comes up missing!
The old lady is in panic and calls the Police!
When the police arrive they ask the old lady what seems to be the problem?
The old lady replies back frantically I looked all over my hairy b*tt but I couldn’t find my crack!
A Turk, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are traveling on a train.
The compartment gets warm, so the Frenchman opens the window and a fly buzzes in. Wanting to show off, the Frenchman swiftly draws his sword and with one str*ke, the fly is spl*t in half. As the others look on in amazement, the Frenchman hands out his business card, which reads: “France’s Best Swordsman.”
Seeing this, the Englishman opens the window and lets another fly in. He quickly pulls out an arrow, shoots, and the fly sticks to the wall, d*ad. He then gives out his business card, which proclaims him as “England’s Best Archer.”
Not wanting to be outdone, the Turk opens the window and lets in another fly. He takes out a small kn*fe and throws it at the fly. The fly falls, but after a few seconds, it gets up and flies away. The Englishman and Frenchman burst into laughter. Unfazed, the Turk hands them his business card. It reads: “Remzi, Professional C*rc*mciser.”
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A girl came skipping home from school one day.
“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“Yes, Honey, it’s because you’re blonde.”
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
“Mommy, Mommy,” She yelled, “we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“Yes, Honey, it’s because you’re blonde.”
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat front, but I have these!” And she lifted her tank top to r*veal a p*ir of 36Cs.
“Very good,” said her embarrassed mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, mommy?”
“No, Honey, it’s because you’re 25.”
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