He Had No Idea Why Everyone in the Coffee Shop Was Staring at Him
Life really does get more interesting as you get older.
I was sitting in a coffee shop recently when my stomach started rumbling. Before long, I realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The place was packed, but the music seemed nice and loud.
Trying to spare myself some embarrassment, I decided to time each little pfft with the beat of the music.
Song after song, my plan seemed to work perfectly.
By the time I finished my coffee, I felt much better.
As I stood up to leave, I noticed everyone in the coffee shop was staring at me.
That’s when I suddenly realized…
I was listening to my own music through my earbuds.
Apparently, I was the only one who could hear the songs.
Getting older is one thing…
Trying to keep up with technology is another.
Read more…
Two Grandmothers Compare Notes
Two elderly ladies, Dolly and Ruby, were talking about their grandchildren.
Dolly sighed and said,
“Every year, I send each of my grandchildren a birthday card with a generous check inside. And every year… I never hear a word from them. Not even a thank-you.”
Ruby smiled and replied,
“I send my grandchildren generous checks, too. I hear from every one of them within a week. In fact, they all come to visit me in person.”
“Really?” Dolly asked. “How do you manage that?”
Ruby grinned and said,
“It’s very simple…
I never sign the checks.”
Shocking Language
A young couple returned from their honeymoon, and the bride immediately called her mother, sobbing hysterically.
“How was the honeymoon, darling?” the mother asked, worried.
“Oh, Mom, the honeymoon was wonderful and so romantic!” the bride wept. “But as soon as we got back, Sam started using the most horrible, disgusting language! Things I’ve never heard before! He keeps throwing around all these awful four-letter words! You’ve got to come take me home!”
“Sarah, calm down,” her mother said. “What could be so awful? Tell me, what four-letter words?”
“Please don’t make me say them, Mom! I’m too embarrassed, they are just too vulgar!”
“Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Trust your mother.”
Still crying, the bride finally choked them out: “Oh, Mom… they were words like dust, wash, iron, and cook!”
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