Nobody Expected His Answers
Reporter: “Excuse me, may I interview you?”
Man: “Yes!”
Reporter: “Name?”
Man: “Abdul Al-Rhazim.”
Reporter: “S*x?”
Man: “Three to five times a week.”
Reporter: “No no! I mean male or female?”
Man: “Yes, male, female… sometimes camel.”
Reporter: “Holy cow!”
Man: “Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general.”
Reporter: “But isn’t that h0-stile?”
Man: “Yes, horse style, dog style, any style.”
Reporter: “Oh dear!”
Man: “No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.”
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center.
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed, “I’m here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.”
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
“I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It’s a very special watch. It’s been in my family for six generations”
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, “Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. . .”
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist’s fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
“SH*T!” said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.
The henpecked plumber rang the bell.
The master and the mistress of the house came to the door together.
As the three stood in the hall, the husband, a methodical man, announced, “I wish, before you go upstairs, to acquaint you with my trouble.”
The plumber shyly dropped his eyes.
“Pleased to meet yer, ma’am,” he mumbled as he held out his hand to the wife.
I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas.
For three days, all I heard from him was… “In Texas, we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that, etc., etc.” It eventually became very annoying.
I am from Niagara Falls, and I thought I could outdo him by showing him the “Magnificent Niagara”, knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this “Wonder of Water and Power”.
While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes.
It was then that I asked him, “Do you have anything like this in Texas?”
He waited a moment before he answered, “No, but we have a plumber who could fix it.”
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