The Nun’s Little Secret
A cab driver picked up a nun. She got into the cab, and noticed that the VERY handsome cab driver wouldn’t stop staring at her.
She asked him why he was staring. He replied: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answered,
“My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
“Well, let’s see what we can do about that: No. 1, you have to be single, and No. 2, you must be Catholic,” she responded.
The cab driver, very excited, said, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“OK,” the nun said. “Pull into the next alley.”
The nun fulfilled his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they got back on the road, the cab driver started crying.
“My dear child,” said the nun, “Why are you crying?”
“Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess; I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun said, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a costume party.”
Jealous husband to wife
Jealous husband to his wife: Honey, where are you?
Wife: I’m home.
Jealous husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Of course I am sure.
Jealous husband: OK then, turn on the blender.
Wife: Oh, OK! (turns the blender on) reeereereee.
Jealous husband: Oh, fine then, honey. See you later, bye.
Another day, the husband to his wife: Honey, where are you?
Wife: I’m home.
Jealous husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes, I am!
Jealous husband: Turn on the blender again.
Wife: Ohh… (turns on blender) reereereee.
Jealous husband: OK, bye love, see you later.
The next day, the jealous husband decides not to call but instead goes home without any notice. He finds his daughter home alone, and the jealous husband asks her: “Honey, where is your mommy?’
Daughter: Oh, I don’t know, Daddy; she went out and took the blender with her.
Three women sit in a beauty parlor talking about their husbands.
The first woman says, “Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn’t there!”
“I know!” the next woman says, “Last night my husband said he was going to his brother’s house, but when I called he wasn’t there.”
The third woman says, “I always know where my husband is.”
“Impossible!” both women exclaim, “He has you completely fooled!”
“Oh no,” says the woman. “I’m a widow.”
Answer The Question And Leave Class Early
A teacher told his students,
“The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early.”
Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
“Who threw that?!” the teacher shouted, angrily.
“Me!” piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. “Can I leave now?”
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