In a moment of confession, a nun revealed to the priest, “Father, I have sinned. We took in a homeless man and gave him shelter, but I couldn’t help myself – I peeked at his pri.vate pa.rts through the keyhole.”
The priest offered words of comfort, “My child, do not be ashamed. Say a Hail Mary and wash your eyes in the holy water, and all will be forgiven.”
The next nun in line confessed, “Father, I too have sinned. I took it a step further and touched his private parts with my hand.”
Again, the priest offered absolution, “Say a Hail Mary and wash your hands in the holy water, and all will be forgiven.”
But then, a commotion erupted as two nuns cut in front of each other, leading to a heated hair-pulling fight.
The priest intervened, “Sisters, stop this at once! What has come over you?”
One nun pointed to the other and exclaimed, “I want to use the holy water first, before she washes her…ahem…with it!”
The priest’s face turned red as he tried to restore order, realizing that perhaps the holy water was not the only thing that needed cleansing.
After 50 Years of Marriage, He Finally Touched Her Again
After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then c*r*ssed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her st*mach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, w*rking down her side, passing gently over her b*tt*ck and down her leg to her calf. Then, he pr*c*eded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite *r*used by this c*r*ssing, and proceeded to ask in a loving voice,
