The Request He Never Expected
A sweet little elderly woman walked into a dentist’s office for an appointment.
She smiled politely…
Then, before the dentist could say a word…
She removed her clothes from the waist down, settled into the chair…
And lifted her legs.
The dentist nearly dropped his instruments.
“Ma’am…”
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”
“I’m a dentist…”
“…not a gynecologist.”
The little old lady looked at him like he was the confused one.
She smiled sweetly and said,
“Oh, I know exactly where I am, Doctor.”
The dentist blinked.
“You… do?”
She nodded.
“Absolutely.”
Then she pointed between her legs and calmly added,
“Now would you be a dear…”
“…and take my husband’s dentures out?”
The dentist suddenly wished he’d become an accountant instead.
A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on its final approach.
The pilot comes on the intercom,
“This is your Captain. We’re on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto.”
He forgets to switch off the intercom, and the whole plane can hear his conversation with his co-pilot.
The co-pilot says to the pilot,
“Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Toronto?”
“Well,” says the skipper,
“first I’m gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap . . . then I’m gonna take that new stewardess with the huge t!ts out for dinner . . . . then I’m gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and put it to her big time all night long!”
Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the isles, trying to get a look at the new stewardess.
Meanwhile, the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane.
She’s so embarrassed that she tries to run to the cockpit to turn the intercom off.
Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady’s bag and falls on her face.
The old lady leans over and says:
“No need to hurry, dear. He’s gonna take a sh!t first.”
A coffin maker was on his way to deliver a brand-new coffin.
Halfway there…
His truck broke down.
Not wanting to disappoint his customer, he hoisted the coffin onto his shoulders and started walking down the road.
A few minutes later, a police patrol pulled up beside him.
One officer rolled down the window and asked,
“Sir… where are you taking that coffin?”
Another officer added,
“Do you have any delivery papers or a receipt?”
The man didn’t miss a beat.
He smiled and calmly replied,
“Actually…”
“I wasn’t happy with the place they buried me…”
“…so I decided to move.”
For a long, awkward second…
The officers just stared at him.
Then, without another word…
They jumped back into the patrol car and drove away as fast as they could.
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