Three Italian nuns d-ie and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says “Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I’m granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be.”
The first nun says, “I want to be Sophia Loren;” and *poof* she’s gone.
The second says, “I want to be Madonna;” and *poof* she’s gone.
The third says, “I want to be Sara Pipalini.” St. Peter looks perplexed. “Who?” he says. “Sara Pipalini;” replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says; “I’m sorry, but that name just doesn’t ring a bell.”
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says “No sister, the paper says it was the ‘Sahara Pipeline’ that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months.”
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A blonde walks by a travel agency.
A blonde walks past a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, “Cruise Special – $99!”
She walks in, puts her money on the counter, and says, “I’d like the $99 cruise special, please.”
The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating.
A second blonde walks by a few minutes later sees the sign, walks in, puts her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special.
She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river.
Drifting into the stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde.
They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, “Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?”
The second blonde replies, ” They didn’t last year.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
A joke for married golfers
Many years ago during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: “Are you okay? What’s your name?”
“It’s John, and I’m okay, thanks,” I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.
“John,” she said, (firm loose bre@sts undulating beneath her white silky robe) “forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” I answered, “but I don’t think my wife would like it.”
“Oh, come on now,” Elizabeth insisted.
She was so very pretty, very very sexy and very persuasive … I was weak. “Well okay,” I finally agreed but thought to myself, “my wife won’t like it.”
After a couple of restorative Scotch and waters, I thanked Elizabeth. “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d best go now.”
“Don’t be silly!” Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly. “She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”
“Still under the cart, I guess.”
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