When Romance Meets Medical Terminology
A man was admitted to the hospital and ended up falling for one of the nurses taking care of him.
She was kind, attentive, and always seemed to go the extra mile whenever she checked on him.
Day after day, he convinced himself that maybe… just maybe… she felt the same way too.
Too shy to say anything in person, he waited until after he was discharged and somehow managed to get her number.
Finally, he sent her a message:
“Hi, I’m the patient you were looking after. I’ve been thinking about you… I think you’ve stolen my heart.”
He waited.
One day passed.
Then two.
No reply.
He was sure he had embarrassed himself and that nothing would ever come from it.
Then, out of nowhere, a message finally appeared.
It was from her:
“Whatever you think I did, I assure you it’s not true. We only removed one kidney.”
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up.
Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, ”Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can *ncr*ase my husband’s s*x dr*ve.”
The doctor smiled and said, ”Have you tried to give him Viagra?”
The lady frowned. ”Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimed.
”Well,” the doctor continued, ”Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won’t notice a thing.”
The old lady was delighted.
She left the doctor’s office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned.
She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong.
She shook her head.
”How did it go?” the doctor asked.
”Terrible, doctor, terrible.”
”Did it not work?”
”Yes,” the old lady said, ”It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ri*pp*d his clothes off right then and there and we m*de m*d l*ve on the table. It was the best s*x that I’d had in 25 years.”
”Then what is the problem, ma’am?”
”Well,” she said. ”I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again.
A patient went to see his doctor for a routine check-up.
After a few tests, he asked hopefully,
“Do you think I’ll live another 50 years, doctor?”
The doctor looked at him for a moment.
“How old are you now?” he asked.
“Forty,” the patient replied.
The doctor nodded.
“Do you drink, gamble, or chase women?”
“No,” the man said. “I don’t drink, I don’t gamble, and I avoid women entirely. I don’t really have any vices at all.”
The doctor leaned back in his chair, studying him quietly.
Then he said:
“Then tell me… why exactly do you want to live another 50 years?”
Read more…
An old man bought a well from a smart aleck.
The next day while on his way to the market he met the smart aleck who told him,
“I have sold the well to you but not the water. If you use the water you will have to pay for it.”
The old man stared at him for a moment.
Then he replied,
“I was in fact planning to come to your place and ask you to empty the water. If you don’t, you will have to pay the rent for storing it in my well.”
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