The Winner’s Final Explanation Was Pure Madness.
Three elderly gentlemen were sitting side-by-side in a clinic examination room, waiting to take a mandatory cognitive memory test.
The doctor walked in, clicked his pen, and looked at the first man. “Alright, let’s start with a very simple math question. Sir, what is three times three?”
The first man paused, squinted his eyes in deep concentration, and confidently announced, “274!”
The doctor sighed heavily, rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, and checked a box on his clipboard. He turned his attention to the next guy. “Okay, it’s your turn. Let’s see if we can do better. What is three times three?”
The second man smiled radiantly and replied without a hint of doubt, “Tuesday!”
The doctor shook his head in absolute sadness, completely losing hope. He finally turned to the third elderly man. “Alright, you’re my last hope today. Can you please tell me… what is three times three?”
“Nine,” the third man answered instantly.
The doctor’s face lit up with pure joy. “That’s magnificent! Absolutely brilliant!” he cheered, clapping his hands. “Tell me, sir, how exactly did you calculate that so quickly?”
The third man smiled proudly, leaned forward, and whispered:
“It was simple, Doc. I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday!”
And nun walks into a liquor store
So, a nun walks into a liquor store and asks the guy behind the counter for a fifth of vodka.
The guy thinks a minute, and says, “Sister, I can’t sell you booze. You’re a nun!”
The nun giggles nervously and says, “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for Mother Superior.” Then she leans forward and whispers, “it’s for her constipation!”
The guy says, “Oh, OK. That’s different. Medical purposes. That’s OK.” and he sells her the bottle of vodka.
A couple of hours later, he closes up the shop, and about two blocks down the street he sees an empty vodka bottle, and a drunken non-lying in the gutter a few feet away. He he walks up to her, and she’s unconscious. He pokes her with his toe, and she rolls over and groans. He says, Sister, I am ashamed of you!You lied to me!”
The nun says, “I din’ lie t—to you.”
The guy says, “Yes you did, you said the vodka was for Mother Superior’s constipation.”
The nun rolls her eyes and says, “It was! When she sheez me like thish, she’s gonna sh*t!”
The Nun Accepted the Deal
A group of wealthy young men were partying in a VIP room at one of the city’s most notorious nightclubs.
In the middle of the party, the door suddenly opened and a young nun walked in carrying a small donation box.
“Excuse me for interrupting,” she said politely. “Our convent is raising money for orphaned children. Any contribution would be greatly appreciated.”
The room fell silent.
Then the most arrogant young millionaire in the group stood up holding a thick stack of cash.
“I’ll donate all $5,000 right now,” he announced loudly, “but only if you take off that habit, put on one of those dancers’ dresses, and give us a s*xy little performance.”
