Two elderly ladies were sitting at a bus stop one afternoon, quietly smoking cigarettes while waiting for the bus.
Out of nowhere, it started pouring rain.
Without missing a beat, the first lady calmly reached into her purse, pulled out a c*nd*m, slipped it over her cigarette, and kept smoking like nothing had happened.
The second lady stared at her in amazement.
“Well I’ll be darned,” she said. “What on earth is that thing, and where do you get one?”
The first woman shrugged casually.
“This? It’s just a cover for my cigarette. I buy ’em at the pharmacy.”
The next morning, the second lady marched straight down to the local pharmacy.
She stood in front of the c*nd*m section for several minutes, studying all the different boxes with a very serious expression.
Finally, a young employee walked over and politely asked,
“Ma’am, can I help you find something?”
The elderly woman nodded.
“Well, I sure hope so. I’m 60 years old and I’ve never bought one of these things before.”
Trying not to laugh, the employee asked,
“Alright then… what size are you looking for?”
The old lady thought about it for a second and replied,
“Honestly, I haven’t got the slightest idea… but it better be big enough to fit a Camel.”
When The Vet Walks Into the Wrong Kind of Family Drama
A wealthy old woman called a veterinarian to her luxury apartment because she was worried about her female cat.
As soon as the vet arrived, she said nervously,
“Something is definitely wrong with her.”
The veterinarian picked up the cat, examined her carefully for a few minutes, then looked up and said,
“Well… your cat is pregnant.”
The old woman nearly fell out of her chair.
“That’s impossible!” she cried.
“She has NEVER been outside this apartment since the day I brought her home as a kitten!”
The vet raised an eyebrow.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely sure!” the woman insisted.
At that exact moment, a large male cat casually wandered into the room.
The veterinarian stared at the cat for a second, then slowly looked back at the woman.
