One Tiny Joke… and the Husband Instantly Regretted It
A husband and wife were driving down a quiet country road after having a huge argument earlier that morning.
The radio was off.
The husband stared out his window.
The wife stared out hers.
For nearly half an hour, neither of them said a word.
As they passed an old farmyard filled with pigs, goats, and a few muddy mules, the husband finally smirked to himself.
Without looking at her, he nodded toward the animals and asked sarcastically,
“Relatives of yours?”
The wife glanced out the window calmly.
“Yep,” she said.
A tiny pause.
“My in-laws.”
Read more…
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old.
The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich”.
The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down”.
The third one says, “Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood”.
As she hit her knuckles on the table she looked up and said,
“That must be the door… I’ll get it!”
The Hitchhiking Nun
A man is driving down the street one night and sees a nun hitchhiking on the side of the road.
Wanting to do a good deed, he pulls over and offers to pick her up.
Thankful, the nun gladly accepts his ride and tells him where she is heading. This happens to be on the way for him anyway, so even better!
The conversation on the way is a bit stiff at first — you know, not really knowing how to talk to a nun and all — but it eventually develops into a light, breezy conversation. They are really getting along and having a nice time.
So the guy nervously decides to delve a little deeper and asks,
“Sister, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but one thing that I’ve always wondered about is how you can go your whole life without h*ving s*x? Isn’t that hard?”
The nun replies, “Well, you know my son, that’s a big misconception. We actually are allowed to h*ve s*x, we just have to follow 3 rules.”
“Rule number one is that you can only h*ve s*x with someone who is Catholic.”
“Rule number two is that you can only h*ve s*x with someone who is not married.”
“Rule number three is that it must be up the b*tt.”
Intrigued, he replies, “Well sister, I’m Catholic and I’m not married. What do you say…..”
She gives him the once over and says, “Ok, why not?”
So they pull over into a secluded lot and go at it hot and heavy, and have a great time.
They get back on the road and eventually get to the nun’s destination. She turns to say goodbye and sees the man is crying.
“Goodness, what’s the matter?” she asks him
“Sister, I feel so guilty, I must confess. I’m actually Jewish and married!” he says
The nun looks at him and says, “That’s ok because my name is Steve and I’m headed to a costume party.
The post One Tiny Joke… and the Husband Instantly Regretted It appeared first on 1millionstories.
