In a moment of confession, a nun revealed to the priest, “Father, I have sinned. We took in a homeless man and gave him shelter, but I couldn’t help myself – I peeked at his pri.vate pa.rts through the keyhole.”
The priest offered words of comfort, “My child, do not be ashamed. Say a Hail Mary and wash your eyes in the holy water, and all will be forgiven.”
The next nun in line confessed, “Father, I too have sinned. I took it a step further and touched his private parts with my hand.”
Again, the priest offered absolution, “Say a Hail Mary and wash your hands in the holy water, and all will be forgiven.”
But then, a commotion erupted as two nuns cut in front of each other, leading to a heated hair-pulling fight.
The priest intervened, “Sisters, stop this at once! What has come over you?”
One nun pointed to the other and exclaimed, “I want to use the holy water first, before she washes her…ahem…with it!”
The priest’s face turned red as he tried to restore order, realizing that perhaps the holy water was not the only thing that needed cleansing.
A farmer had advertised his farm and was showing it to a prospective buyer.
As they walked along a fence line the buyer saw bee hives and stopped.
He said, “Those hives are pretty close to the road.”
The farmer explained that the bees just made honey and have never stung anyone.
The buyer felt unsure about the sale until he proposed that he be tied to a nearby tree, naked, overnight.
If he was stung once he would get the farm for free, but if he wasn’t stung then he would pay the farmer double the price.
The farmer agreed and tied the now naked man to the tree.
The next morning the farmer saw the man leaning over and very pale.
