The doctor turns to the first man and asks, “What’s three times three?”
“274,” the man replies confidently.
The doctor sighs, looks up at the ceiling, and moves on to the second man.
“Your turn,” he says. “What’s three times three?”
“Tuesday,” the second man replies without hesitation.
Shaking his head in disbelief, the doctor turns to the third man.
“Alright, let’s try you. What’s three times three?”
“Nine,” says the third man.
The doctor lights up. “That’s correct! How did you figure it out?”
“Easy,” the third man replies. “I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday.”
A young nun goes to the clinic for her routine annual physical. The physician on duty is a young doctor known for being a bit of a prankster. Seeing the nun look so serious and solemn, he decides to play a little joke on her.
After a few routine questions, the doctor looks grave and says, “Sister, I don’t know how to tell you this… but your initial test results show that you are two months pregnant.”
The nun doesn’t gasp, panic, or cry. She simply sits there calmly, closes her notebook, packs her purse, and stands up to leave. Shocked by her lack of reaction, the doctor quickly calls out:
“Wait, Sister! Aren’t you shocked or terrified? Don’t you want to say anything?”
The nun turns around, looks him dead in the eye, and gently says:
“Oh, I’m not scared. I’m just thinking about the convent’s maintenance man. He always told us that the grease he used on the altar candles was top quality. Turns out, he lied.”
A brand-new teacher fresh out of college was determined to use all the modern psychology techniques she had learned.
On the very first day of school, she stood proudly in front of her class, smiling confidently at the students.
“Children,” she announced, “today we’re going to begin with a little self-awareness exercise.”
The students looked at one another nervously.
