Suddenly, the nun fainted dead away & the doctor was forced to summon emergency aid.
“What happened!?!” asked one nurse as the EMTs worked on the nun.
“Well, I examined her and I told her she was pregnant.”
“She is?!” yelled the nurse.
“Actually, no” said the doctor “but it sure as hell cured her hiccups, didn’t it?!”
A bus full of nuns was driving down a mountain road when the brakes suddenly failed. The bus hurtled down the hill at a terrifying speed. The driver shouted in despair:
“Everyone, the brakes are gone! We are going to crash over the cliff, please pray!”
All the nuns on the bus panicked, crying and praying out loud. Just then, an old nun sitting in the front row jumped up, rushed to the driver’s side, grabbed the emergency brake, and turned the steering wheel, safely crashing the bus into a thick bush.
Everyone survived by a miracle. Another nun, having caught her breath, ran over to hug the old nun:
“Oh Sister, you were so brave and wise! God gave you strength!”
The old nun wiped the sweat from her forehead, panting:
“God my foot! Before I entered the convent, I was a container truck driver for 15 years! You all kept telling me to sit still and pray, I almost forgot my old job!”
His father sees it and says, “Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?” “But Dad, it wasn’t my fault.
We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the cr*ck of her b*tt.
I reached over and pulled it out.
That’s when she h*t me!”
“Johnny,” the father said.
“You don’t do those kind of things to women.”
Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny’s father said, “Johnny, I thought we had a talk!”
