An old sailor made his two blonde nieces promise to give him a traditional burial at sea when he passed away.
When the time came, the sisters dutifully loaded his body into a small rowboat and headed out into the ocean. After rowing a short distance, the first blonde climbed overboard to check the depth. The water only reached her knees. “Not deep enough yet,” she said, climbing back in. “Keep rowing.”
They rowed further out, and she checked again. This time, the water came all the way up to her neck. “Still not deep enough,” she grumbled. “We need to go out further.”
Finally, they rowed out past the horizon. The blonde dove overboard and completely disappeared beneath the waves. After a few tense seconds, she broke the surface, gasped for air, and yelled to her sister in the boat:
“Okay, this spot is perfect! Hand me the shovel!”
Andy’s New Career
Several years ago, Andy was sent to prison.
From the very beginning, he earned the respect of both the guards and his fellow inmates. The warden believed Andy had made a mistake in life—but was genuinely trying to become a better man.
To help him start over, the warden arranged for Andy to learn carpentry while serving his sentence.
Andy turned out to be a natural.
Within three years, he had become one of the finest carpenters in the area. His work was so good that he was often allowed to leave prison on weekends to build furniture or complete small projects for local families. Every Sunday evening, without fail, he returned to prison on time.
Andy became known as the model inmate.
One day, the warden decided to remodel his kitchen. He wanted new cabinets and a beautiful countertop but didn’t know anyone he trusted more than Andy.
So he called him into his office.
“Andy,” the warden said with a smile, “you’re the best carpenter around. Would you be willing to build my new kitchen cabinets and install the countertop?”
