A blonde was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, “I’ll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you’re doing.”
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Just before the helicopter reached 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash-landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. “What went wrong?”
The blonde said, “At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off.”
A Blonde Bought A New Car.
A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from someplace far off, to meet this friend.
She reached there in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, she decided to return and called up her mother to expect her in the evening.
But she didn’t come home that evening or the next day.
When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened?
She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, “These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!”
LOL…?
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!
A priest is driving on the highway when he’s pulled over for speeding.
A priest was driving down a country highway one sunny afternoon when a police officer pulled him over for speeding.
The officer walked up to the window and immediately noticed something unusual. There was a strong smell of alcohol coming from inside the car. As he glanced around, he also spotted an empty wine bottle lying on the passenger-side floor.
Trying to remain polite, the officer leaned in and asked,
“Father, have you been drinking today?”
The priest smiled calmly and shook his head.
“Not at all, officer. I’ve only been drinking water.”
The officer raised an eyebrow and pointed toward the bottle.
“Then why does your car smell like wine?”
The priest looked down at the bottle for the first time. He stared at it for a few seconds, then slowly picked it up and examined the label.
Suddenly, his eyes widened.
He looked toward the sky, crossed himself, and exclaimed:
“Good Lord… He’s done it again!”
A Priest and a Nun Get Lost in a Blizzard
A priest and a nun were lost in a blizzard. After a while, they came upon a small cabin.
Being exhausted, they prepared to fall asleep. There was a pile of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor, but only one bed.
As a gentleman, the priest said, “Sister, you sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag.”
The moment he got zipped up in the bag and was slowly falling asleep, the nun said, “Father, I’m cold.
He opened the sleeping bag, got up, took a blanket, and put it on her.
Once again, he climbed back into the sleeping bag, zipped it up, and began to fall asleep when the nun said again: “Father, I am still very cold.”
He unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her, and got back into the sleeping bag once again. Just as his eyes closed, she said: “Father, I’m sooooo cold.”
This time, he stood there and winked at the woman and smiled. Then he said, “Sister, I have an idea. We are here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. Let’s pretend we’re married.”
The nun purred: “That’s fine with me.”
To which the priest yelled out: “Okay, so get up and get your own stupid blanket!”
Oh, the beauty of marriage!
Hope this joke makes you smile! Have a nice day!!!
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle.
She was very attracted
to him and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he m*n*ged for s*x.
“What’s that?” he asked.
She explained to him what s*x was and he said, “Oh, I use a
h*le in the trunk of a tree.”
Horrified, she said, “Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I’ll
show you how to do it properly.”
She t**k off her cl*thes,
laid down on the ground and spr*ad her legs w*de.
“Here,” she
said, “You must p*t it in here.”
Tarzan removed his l*incl*th, stepped closer and then gave her
an almighty kick, right in the cr*tch.
Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp,
“What the hell did you do that for?”
“Checking for bees!” said Tarzan.
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