A blonde goes to a auto parts store
A blonde goes to a auto parts store and asks for a Seven Ten cap.
Everybody look at each other and ask, “What’s a seven ten cap?”
She says…, “You know, it’s right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one.”
“What kind of a car is it?” they ask.
She says that it’s a Buick.
“Okay, Lady, how big is it?”
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.
“What does it do?”
She says, “I don’t know, but it’s always been there.”
One of the guy gives her a note pad and asks her if she can draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710.
The guys on the opposite side of the counter are looking at as she writes it…and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard.
One guy says, “I think you want an OIL cap.”
The Midnight ‘Hero’… and the Real Scare in the House
As I stepped out of the shower, I heard the faint clatter of dishes coming from downstairs. My heart skipped a beat—my wife was supposed to be out.
Without thinking, I grabbed the old family r*fl* from 1903 off the wall. It hadn’t worked in years, but in the heat of the moment, it was the best I had. Clutching it t*gh*ly, I tiptoed down the stairs, heart pounding.
It wasn’t until I reached the bottom that I realized something important.
I was completely n*k*d.
Peering around the corner, r*fl* at the ready, I braced myself for the w*rst. But instead of an intruder, I found my wife casually loading the dishwasher, completely unfazed.
She glanced up, raised an eyebrow, and took in the ridiculous sight before her. “What exactly are you doing?”
Still catching my breath, I tried to sound confident. “I heard a noise. Thought I’d scare off a burglar.”
Her gaze slowly traveled from the r*fl* to my b*re, slightly pudgy frame. A smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth.
“You didn’t need the g*n for that,” she said, stifling a chuckle
The Balcony Lookout… and the Neighborhood Copycats
A married couple with kid gets h*rny…
on a Sunday morning and thinks about how they can have some time to “c*ddle”. So they tell their son to go stand on the balcony and look if he can see something new going on in the neighbourhood.
So their son stands on the balcony and they get going. After a few minutes he yells: “Dad, dad! The Myers got a new car!” Dad dutifully but a little out of br*ath *nsw*rs: “Fine, fine, that’s nice son. Keep looking if you see something else.”
Their son keeps looking and after a while he reports back to his dad again. “Dad, dad! The Smiths have a lawn mower robot now!” His dad, p*nt*ngly sh*uts back: “Well, that’s wonderful! Keep looking, keep looking.”
So he keeps looking and another few minutes he shouts: “Dad, dad! The Wilsons are h*ving s*x!” Dad stops totally confused and after a few seconds he asks: “How would you know?”
“Their son has been standing on the balcony looking around for 10 minutes now!
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