A Very Reasonable Request
A guy walks into an old neighborhood pub one rainy evening, looking tired, hungry, and in desperate need of a decent meal.
The place smelled like fried onions, cheap beer, and bad decisions.
A few regulars sat quietly watching football while three stunning blonde bartenders moved around serving drinks and chatting with customers. The man grabbed a stool and glanced up at the menu hanging over the bar.
CHEESEBURGER — $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH — $2.50
H*ND JOB — $10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
“Can I help you, handsome?” she asked.
The man leaned in slightly and lowered his voice.
“I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives the h*nd jobs?”
The blonde gave him a slow smile and brushed her hair back.
“Why yes,” she purred. “That would be me.”
The man nodded thoughtfully.
Then he slid the menu back toward her and said:
“Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger.”
Three Chinese Tortures
A man is traveling through the jungle for days. Growing tired, he passes by a house and decides to ask if they could put him up for the night.
After he knocks on the door, an old Chinese man with a beard that reached the floor answers.
The traveler asks if he could stay the night, and the Chinese guy agrees – as long as he doesn’t screw his granddaughter. Before the traveler can agree, the old man warns him that if he does screw his granddaughter, he will perform the three greatest Chinese tortures on him. The traveler says okay, and the man lets him in.
When it was time for dinner, the man meets the granddaughter, who is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. After he figures that the old man is asleep, he goes into her room and m*kes l*ve to her.
