September 25, 2026

The Golden Golf Match

The Golden Golf Match

Moses and Jesus are playing a round of golf in heaven.

They reach a difficult hole with a large water hazard right before the green. Moses steps up to the tee, swings, and hits the ball. It flies straight toward the lake and splashes right into the center of the water.

Moses sighs, walks down to the lake, raises his golf club, and parts the water. He walks onto the dry lake bed, chips the ball onto the green, and makes his putt.

Jesus steps up to the tee next. He swings, but hits a terrible slice. The ball flies directly toward the lake. However, instead of sinking, the ball hovers just an inch above the water’s surface. Jesus walks out onto the water, stands next to the ball, and chips it right into the hole for a birdie.

Just then, an old man steps up to the tee. He grabs a club, swings wildly, and hits the ball with terrible form. The ball flies completely out of bounds toward a nearby highway. It bounces off a truck, hits a tree, lands on the back of a turtle, and rolls right onto the green. Suddenly, a frog jumps out of the grass, swallows the ball, and a hawk swoops down to grab the frog. As the hawk flies over the hole, the frog drops the ball, and it rolls directly into the cup for a hole-in-one.

Moses turns to Jesus, rolls his eyes, and says, “I really hate playing golf with your dad.”

Save

Two women go out one night without their husbands.

They go to a bar, have a chat along with a couple of drinks and then head back home.

On the way home one of them turns to the other and says:

“Sorry, but I need to go to a toilet. Can we stop for a minute?”

The other looks at her and replies “I also have to go there, but where can we go in the middle of the street?”

“Oh, look, there is a cemetery over there we can go there.”

“Yes, but how are we going to w*pe?”

“I’m just going to use my und*rwe@r and throw it out.”

Her friend however, was we@ring her favorite (and rather expensive knickers) and didn’t want to ruin them.

So she elected to take a wreath off a nearby grave and use that.

And so they went home.

The next day the husband of one was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was hungover and still in bed, so he phoned the other.

“Do you know where our wives went last night? Because mine came back home with no und*rwe@r.”

“Well you are luckier than me, my wife came home with a ribbon in her b*tt and on the ribbon it was written: ‘From all of us at the Fire Station. We’ll never forget you.’ “