October 6, 2026

Why She Quit Church

A lady went to the Pastor of her church and said, “I won’t be attending Church anymore.”

He said, “May I ask why?”

She said, “I see people on their cell phones texting and typing during the service, some are gossiping, some just aren’t living right, some are sleeping, some are staring at me, they are all just hypocrites.”

The Pastor was silent. Then he said, “Can I ask you to do something for me before you make your final decision?” She said, “Sure, what’s that?”

He said, “Take a glass of water and walk around the church two times and don’t let any water fall out of the glass.” She said, “Yes I can do that!” She went and got the glass of water and walked around the church two times. She came back and said proudly, “It’s done.”

The pastor asked her these questions; “Did you see anybody on their phone?; Did you see anybody gossiping?; Was anybody living wrong?; Did you see anyone sleeping?” She said, “I didn’t see anything because I was so focused on this glass, so the water wouldn’t spill out”

He told her, “When you come to church, you should be just that focused on God, so that you don’t fall. That’s why Jesus said, ‘Follow Me, He did not say follow Christians.”

Save

It’s the middle of summer and a Highway Patrolman pulls over a motorist for speeding.

While he’s writing the ticket, flies keep buzzing around his head, annoying him considerably.

“Circle flies sure are bad this year, aren’t they?” says the motorist.

“Yeah,” says the patrolman, “if that’s what these are, you’re sure right. But I’ve never heard of a circle fly before. What’s that?”

“Well,” the motorist responds, “circle flies are a species of fly that are particularly partial to horses. Specifically, they tend to circle around a horse’s rear end. That’s why they call ’em circle flies.”

The patrolman, catching the implication, replies, “You don’t say. Well, that’s very interesting. But it strikes me that you might be trying to call me a horse’s ass. You wouldn’t be making that kind of implication about an officer of the law, would you?”

“Oh, no sir!” responds the motorist. “No, sir, not at all. I have the utmost respect for law enforcement officers, and would never dream of implying that one of them was a horse’s ass. No, sir, I’m terribly sorry if that’s how it sounded.”