Little Timmy Learned the Wrong Definitions
One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word “sh*t”.
He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him “coats and jackets”.
Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word “f**cking”, and for a second time, asked his father what it meant.
His father promptly said “cooking”.
Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words “b*tch*s and h*es”.
He went home and his father told him it meant “grandpa and grandma”.
Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over.
Timmy answered the door with glee and says: “Hey bi*tch*s and h*es! I’ll take your sh*t to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen f**king the turkey!”
Bonus Joke
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, “Mom, guess what? “We learned how to make babies today.”
The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
“That’s interesting,” she said. “How do you make babies?”
“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”
LOL!
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, “How was I born?”
“Well, honey…” said the slightly prudish parent, “An angel brought you to us.”
“Oh,” said the boy.
“Well, how did you and Daddy get born?” he asked.
“Oh, the angel brought us too.”
“Well, how were Grandpa and Grandma born?” he persisted.
“Well, darling, the angel brought them too!” said the parent.
Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher, who read with confusion the opening sentence: “This report has been very difficult to write because there hasn’t been a natural birth in my family for three generations.”
LOL!! SO CUTE!!
A blonde came running up to her husband
A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work just jumping for joy.
He didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but thought, what the heck, and started jumping up and down with her.
She said, “Honey, I have some really great news for you!”
He said, “Great, tell me what you’re so happy about!”
She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told him that she was pregnant!
He kissed her and told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier!”
Then, she said, “Oh, honey, there’s more!”
He asked, “What do you mean, ‘more?’”
She said, “Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!”
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.
She said, “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!!”
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