A man burst into a public restroom, desperately needing to relieve himself. As he stood at the urinal, he noticed the guy next to him was peeing in two completely separate streams.
Curiosity got the better of him. “Hey man, sorry to look, but how does that happen?”
The guy sighed. “Got shot in the groin back in Vietnam. The doctors did what they could, but I ended up with two holes.”
A moment later, the man glanced down the line and saw another guy peeing in three perfect streams. “Let me guess,” the man called out, “shrapnel?”
“Yep, Iraq,” the second guy nodded. “I just count myself lucky it still works.”
Suddenly, the man turned around and spotted a third guy. This man’s pee was spraying in a hundred different directions—hitting the wall, soaking the floor, and flying all over the place like a broken lawn sprinkler.
In absolute awe, the man asked, “Good grief, man! What kind of brutal war were you in?!”
The third guy groaned miserably, “No war, man… my damn zipper is stuck!”
A man and a woman were sitting next to each other in the first-class section of an airplane. Suddenly, the woman sneezed, grabbed a tissue to wipe her nose, and then began to shudder violently in her seat for about ten seconds.
The man found it a bit strange but went back to reading his book.
A few minutes later, she sneezed again. Once more, she wiped her nose and convulsed even more intensely than before. The man’s curiosity was peaking, but he kept quiet.
When she sneezed a third time and practically shook right out of her seat, the man could no longer contain himself. He turned to her and asked, “Excuse me, ma’am, but are you alright? Every time you sneeze, you shudder all over the place!”
The woman smiled apologetically. “I’m so sorry if I disturbed you. I actually have a very rare medical condition: every single time I sneeze, I have a massive orgasm.”
The man, now blushing but thoroughly intrigued, replied, “Wow, I’ve never heard of that before! Are you taking anything for it?”
